all's trivial

hello fluffy doggie. i wonder how u can lie like this,
chin on the floor, neck all stretched out.
lazy fellow. only movin one eyebrow.
i would take your pic, but i'm talkin right now.
(and i dunno if i can take a pic while using my phone)

i am waitin below the K's building, our lady of constant succour.
i'd never seen so many cats sittin on a road.
he says there's a lady who feeds them.
now there are big, costly fireworks in the sky.
so pretty! twinkle twinkle little stars!
but later they turn into suspended octopuses -
a thick, soft smoky center;
    and thin, soft smoky tentacles reaching out in the dark.
the tentacles disappear first, the center drifts for longer.
the cats are gettin up (think i see the lady),
tis dinner time everywhere.

i brought home a white persian lily & a red gladiolus stick today
(can see them in the pic)
they replace the red & pink roses i got last wednesday
to remind me of sunset skies.
also, my railway pass expired today,
so it's been exactly three months at my new job -

we take stock
and all is good.

A Love Song

There were days with no boundaries,
routines without meaning,
when all writing seemed forced
and without no feeling.

There were songs with no words,
an obsession to seeking,
there were white rabbit races
till late in the evening.

But now there's sunshine
and music everywhere!
There are smiles and laughs,
and so much love to share!!

There were eyes averted,
no talking nor listening,
the river of memories
untasted, yet a'flowing.

But now there's beauty
and wonder everywhere!
There is wine and dance,
and so much love to share!!

gettin easier all the time

Mr Bojangles told me he never did like the taste of alcohol. May be so. Personally, I think he is still partial to the sweeter Reds and Rosés but right then, I let it pass. He talked of heightened senses in a distorted reality. The fix-a-day.. of the means, that they change - and how they changed! I heard him out patiently, wondering, where it was all going.

Finally, he asked, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if a drunk could start from where he left off the night before? Do you think it could even be possible?"

And I understood him at once! All his transgressions into marathons, serious music and reading. Of newly heightened senses in a newly distorted reality.

It has been three years since. And the means have changed further still. A Dostoevsky can be replaced with a conversation, a Bach with a gentle smile. Yes, it takes time, and yes, it takes practice. But getting high has never been easier!

Enough for me

Enough for me that you are happy:
happiness reflects possibilites.
Better a garrulous twinkle
than an expression mundane;
Better a trouble laughed
than a tiresome complain.
Enough for me that you've shone past,
a sunbeam dancing in the dark!!

Enough for me

Enough for me that you are beautiful:
beauty possessed diminishes.
Better a dream of love
than love’s dream broken;
Better a look exchanged
than love’s word spoken.
Enough for me that you walk past,
a firefly flashing in the dark.

-Ruskin Bond

Happy valentine's to ye all!

ran all the way!!!!

21km.
2hrs 31min 54sec.

heh heh! (and how we've changed!)

To new beginnings!

Congratulations my dear lil mouse & the happee grinnny cat!! :-)


Also, I cleared the trinity grade 5 with merit, and bought meself a w810i - ekdum happening phone it is! ..saw Beyonce, America and The Scorpions perform live, read stuff, stepped up my runs to 10km, the usual..

The grand old Duke

The grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.

And when they were up, they were up;
And when they were down, they were down.
But when they were only halfway up,
They were neither up nor down!

- anonymous (?) nursery rhyme

On my overgoing

Four stages in youth hath yet I known:
Of vagrant spontaneity bereft of thought
When seconds were lived and days were thrown
And delight, my very purpose begot!

Unto borrowed words that I called my own
I concluded one's whole purpose was naught!
Through inconsistent justification had nihilism grown
For without experience, one is mistaught.

Alas, my years unaccounted! Did I bemoan
Whereat purpose my existence sought
Each man is condemned to choose alone
And by self must one's path be wrought.

Verily time hath told me, their lives hath shown
It is not in the find of what one has sought
But in a becoming - to have yearned! To have grown!
And then share the ken thy learning hath brought!

I lost my 3230!!!! :((

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

- Robert Frost (Reluctance)

What then?

His chosen comrades thought at school
He must grow a famous man;
He thought the same and lived by rule,
All his twenties crammed with toil;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

Everything he wrote was read,
After certain years he won
Sufficient money for his need,
Friends that have been friends indeed;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

All his happier dreams came true -
A small old house, wife, daughter, son,
Grounds where plum and cabbage grew,
Poets and Wits about him drew;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

'The work is done,' grown old he thought,
'According to my boyish plan;
Let the fools rage, I swerved in naught,
Something to perfection brought';
But louder sang that ghost, 'What then?'

- W. B. Yeats

---

Books read recently: The Idiot, The Wind In The Willows, Rain in the mountains: Notes from the Himalayas, Ruskin Bond's Book of Verse, Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person, The Book of Questions, The Agony & The Ecstasy (but this is still underway - Lorenzo just breathed his last)

Classical Guitar: Finished Carcassi studies in thirds, sixths and octaves and upto study piece 40.

After all, there is no excuse not to.

the monsoon breeze through my bedroom window

The waft is continuous, smooth and gentle, making me more aware of myself, from the soles of my feet, to my knees, the back of my palm, to the wetness in my hair. Yet the same thoughts set sail. I should have started this Trinity music thing fifteen years ago. Should have read more and known better - all stacks are growing. The movies still lying unwatched, only dusted once a month.

To love, for love

To love for love
and not through pity,
judicious compromise
or righteous morality.

To work for purpose,
meaning and significance
and bequeath a mark
of standing difference.

And to fold into sleep
thanking the day
for bright and beautiful memories
in a pretty bouquet!

in the theatre of the absurd

The squirrel climbed up and the sun smiled down. "What if everything was causal and we knew all the variables of one big deterministic system?" He stopped and nibbled.

"But thats for schools and their science books. Guarantees do not exist in the grown world. My striving only increases my chances of being higher and my time being more accountable - everything in the universe is probabilistic. My mind is part of this universe. So my mind is probabilistic: I can only attempt at increasing my chances of knowing without being sure of knowing. The billions of millions of planets show it in a way. If there was one planet with one Sun, a moon and its company of stars it could be attributed to the grace of a god. If there were not so many species of plants and animals mutated over thousands of years from one cell (and to imagine the freak event to have caused this single cell in itself) - emptiness was placed but so much has evolved! The odds of us not being here were so fantastically high, and yet, they have been overcome only because there exist so many galaxies, species, people and Time!!"

He scratched his ear. "So maybe I should rest: good things may happen from toil but truly wondrous things happen only by chance. Aha, yet one must not sacrifice skill waiting for that magical tingle as one could be left with neither." And so he got to climbing again, while the sun, why, it laughed!


There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.

- Leonard Cohen.

slow train coming (with messieurs ipod & sartre)

'There are stars in the southern sky, southward as you go..' Would've been interesting to work it out with Shamik (was again blown by the harmony in Uncle John's Band). Said he's got a classical guitar and I have to find the teacher - messaged Ashley and he hasn't responded. But he was always the happy-go-lucky Rock and Roll fellow. Hope all is well. 'There is a taste of time sweetened honey, down the Seven Bridges road.' Should call him up. And poor Sri, cut him short twice in a row, and we both know how often we do call back. Hope he's well too.

'..got me a line. Nothing I do is gonna make the difference so I'm taking the time.' Arrangements are just as imporant - could never make it sound decent on guitar alone. Maybe with a church organ, the chords filling up every possible space and adding simple ornaments plucked on guitar or piano. 'It's called a Piano Forte because piano means soft and forte means loud. You didn't know?!' But I haven't been practising much and when I am there is no clear direction or purpose. Did play in Dahanu for Rani and Sanjay. Hope she gets back to her music. But Dahanu was good. 'I know nothing about fishing. But just watch me go..' Thought I wouldn't know anyone and get really uncomfortable - it's been more than 20 years since Saint Mary's High School - but it was refreshingly easy. We exchanged numbers. I sent two sms'es and got one reply (which is good, else one can run out of things to say).

Work will always happen but it's important to do something that gives meaning to time. Best to do it early in the morning - it's downhill from there. 'I don't see it as a question of pointlessness; sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad.' Well, Nikhil should be back in Pune. Hope it works out. (Everyone should be well - peace be unto all!) The 3am Pune-Mumbai trips may return. I'll show him the Bach on Abbey Road/Bach meets The Beatles cd. So which is your favourite group? Who's your best vocalist?? We need to have handy answers to these questions na. The Beatles. Van Morrison. But then we forget.

Finally met last tuesday.. she looked unhappy (so very sad) but there was nothing I could say (so very sad). Two years back in time - the dinner and talk, the walk and drop. 'Tuesday's gone with the wind..' arrangements and interpretations, Metallica and Skynyrd both have happy versions but Lynyrd's a more blissful & peaceful happiness, like a warm and golden sunset, whereas Hetfield and co primarily ensure a good time fun - the blues harp vs a bright piano maybe.. (but there was nothing I could've done!!)

"It isn't a question of numbers," said Mathieu. "Humanity replenishes itself, none are missed and none awaited. Humanity will continue on its futile journey, the usual people will ask themselves the usual questions, and wreck their lives in the usual way."