conversations

You know why I travel in the first-class?
See these marks on my head?
See see. (parting his hair)

One day I was coming back from work when a boy asked me,
'Sir, will I get a job?'
I said, 'Why not. If you are willing to work hard, you will get a job.'
He replied, 'But I have not studied. No degree, no qualification.
So will I get a job?'
I said, 'Why not. See this newspaper. There are so many openings.
Times have changed. And you even speak english.'
He only laughed. And I read my paper.

But later he got up, took out something pointed from his pocket
and started stabbing me.
(like those divider things that come in compass boxes
- you understand?)
Here only. Right on my head.
Three times. Then the other passengers caught him and held him.
They only stopped the train.
I remember thinking, there was so much blood!

Then we all went to the police station. They put him in.
Actually, I didn't know what to do.
I did whatever the other passengers told.
I know they kept him there for at least one night
because I had to go there again the next day.
But I didn't do the whole court thing - what was the point?
(my son wanted me to.. he is like that, but I didn't see any point.)
It came in one or two newspapers also.

After 3-4 months, I started doing the local trains again.
But now I travel only in the first class.

You know why I am telling you all this?
I just lost my phone. It slipped and fell outside.
My wife had recharged it yesterday only.
(I'd told her to wait.. but she is like that.)
I just wanted to tell, that how when big things happen,
the small ones don't matter.
And this is a very small thing, no?
----------
I think, as one grows older,
more than being certain of what one likes,
one gets more and more certain of what one dislikes.
Don't you think? That tolerance levels reduce??

Aha. Yes, but I can put it more harshly than that -
I think one gets more and more and more selfish.
See my grandmother. She complains of us not calling her often.
But if she gets a ring when her tv serial is on, she'll cut the call off,
even if it is an outstation call from the States.
----------
Don't ask me where I am right now
or what I ate for lunch.
There's no point in that - you know how I detest all small-talk.

But I can't classify events.
And when I try, everything turns trivial
and I end up having nothing to say.
----------
On the pic: I was traveling in Ruby with the cat and mouse, when she spotted the street light. It was also the cat's birthday:
            May you have many many more!
            each one happier than the ones before!!

le frog chanson

I'll play you a love tune
and turn on your smile
get you to dance and twirl
and take you out in style

we'd make music everyday
if you'd be my girl.

I'll be your yellow
and bring home the sun
paint it with dark red love
when the day is done

we'd keep all black at bay
if you'd be my girl.

And we'd go see places
that we had never had seen
silver moonlight and blue rivers
where we never had been

i'd take you far far away
if you'd just be my girl.

I can't always take you unawares
you know me now, as i'm knowing you
come closer, here, take my hand
my word, dear, will always be true

but tonight i'll be anyone you say
if only you'd be my girl.

all's trivial

hello fluffy doggie. i wonder how u can lie like this,
chin on the floor, neck all stretched out.
lazy fellow. only movin one eyebrow.
i would take your pic, but i'm talkin right now.
(and i dunno if i can take a pic while using my phone)

i am waitin below the K's building, our lady of constant succour.
i'd never seen so many cats sittin on a road.
he says there's a lady who feeds them.
now there are big, costly fireworks in the sky.
so pretty! twinkle twinkle little stars!
but later they turn into suspended octopuses -
a thick, soft smoky center;
    and thin, soft smoky tentacles reaching out in the dark.
the tentacles disappear first, the center drifts for longer.
the cats are gettin up (think i see the lady),
tis dinner time everywhere.

i brought home a white persian lily & a red gladiolus stick today
(can see them in the pic)
they replace the red & pink roses i got last wednesday
to remind me of sunset skies.
also, my railway pass expired today,
so it's been exactly three months at my new job -

we take stock
and all is good.

A Love Song

There were days with no boundaries,
routines without meaning,
when all writing seemed forced
and without no feeling.

There were songs with no words,
an obsession to seeking,
there were white rabbit races
till late in the evening.

But now there's sunshine
and music everywhere!
There are smiles and laughs,
and so much love to share!!

There were eyes averted,
no talking nor listening,
the river of memories
untasted, yet a'flowing.

But now there's beauty
and wonder everywhere!
There is wine and dance,
and so much love to share!!

gettin easier all the time

Mr Bojangles told me he never did like the taste of alcohol. May be so. Personally, I think he is still partial to the sweeter Reds and Rosés but right then, I let it pass. He talked of heightened senses in a distorted reality. The fix-a-day.. of the means, that they change - and how they changed! I heard him out patiently, wondering, where it was all going.

Finally, he asked, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if a drunk could start from where he left off the night before? Do you think it could even be possible?"

And I understood him at once! All his transgressions into marathons, serious music and reading. Of newly heightened senses in a newly distorted reality.

It has been three years since. And the means have changed further still. A Dostoevsky can be replaced with a conversation, a Bach with a gentle smile. Yes, it takes time, and yes, it takes practice. But getting high has never been easier!

Enough for me

Enough for me that you are happy:
happiness reflects possibilites.
Better a garrulous twinkle
than an expression mundane;
Better a trouble laughed
than a tiresome complain.
Enough for me that you've shone past,
a sunbeam dancing in the dark!!

Enough for me

Enough for me that you are beautiful:
beauty possessed diminishes.
Better a dream of love
than love’s dream broken;
Better a look exchanged
than love’s word spoken.
Enough for me that you walk past,
a firefly flashing in the dark.

-Ruskin Bond

Happy valentine's to ye all!

ran all the way!!!!

21km.
2hrs 31min 54sec.

heh heh! (and how we've changed!)

To new beginnings!

Congratulations my dear lil mouse & the happee grinnny cat!! :-)


Also, I cleared the trinity grade 5 with merit, and bought meself a w810i - ekdum happening phone it is! ..saw Beyonce, America and The Scorpions perform live, read stuff, stepped up my runs to 10km, the usual..

The grand old Duke

The grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.

And when they were up, they were up;
And when they were down, they were down.
But when they were only halfway up,
They were neither up nor down!

- anonymous (?) nursery rhyme

On my overgoing

Four stages in youth hath yet I known:
Of vagrant spontaneity bereft of thought
When seconds were lived and days were thrown
And delight, my very purpose begot!

Unto borrowed words that I called my own
I concluded one's whole purpose was naught!
Through inconsistent justification had nihilism grown
For without experience, one is mistaught.

Alas, my years unaccounted! Did I bemoan
Whereat purpose my existence sought
Each man is condemned to choose alone
And by self must one's path be wrought.

Verily time hath told me, their lives hath shown
It is not in the find of what one has sought
But in a becoming - to have yearned! To have grown!
And then share the ken thy learning hath brought!

I lost my 3230!!!! :((

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

- Robert Frost (Reluctance)

What then?

His chosen comrades thought at school
He must grow a famous man;
He thought the same and lived by rule,
All his twenties crammed with toil;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

Everything he wrote was read,
After certain years he won
Sufficient money for his need,
Friends that have been friends indeed;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

All his happier dreams came true -
A small old house, wife, daughter, son,
Grounds where plum and cabbage grew,
Poets and Wits about him drew;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

'The work is done,' grown old he thought,
'According to my boyish plan;
Let the fools rage, I swerved in naught,
Something to perfection brought';
But louder sang that ghost, 'What then?'

- W. B. Yeats

---

Books read recently: The Idiot, The Wind In The Willows, Rain in the mountains: Notes from the Himalayas, Ruskin Bond's Book of Verse, Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person, The Book of Questions, The Agony & The Ecstasy (but this is still underway - Lorenzo just breathed his last)

Classical Guitar: Finished Carcassi studies in thirds, sixths and octaves and upto study piece 40.

After all, there is no excuse not to.

the monsoon breeze through my bedroom window

The waft is continuous, smooth and gentle, making me more aware of myself, from the soles of my feet, to my knees, the back of my palm, to the wetness in my hair. Yet the same thoughts set sail. I should have started this Trinity music thing fifteen years ago. Should have read more and known better - all stacks are growing. The movies still lying unwatched, only dusted once a month.

To love, for love

To love for love
and not through pity,
judicious compromise
or righteous morality.

To work for purpose,
meaning and significance
and bequeath a mark
of standing difference.

And to fold into sleep
thanking the day
for bright and beautiful memories
in a pretty bouquet!