To new beginnings!

Congratulations my dear lil mouse & the happee grinnny cat!! :-)


Also, I cleared the trinity grade 5 with merit, and bought meself a w810i - ekdum happening phone it is! ..saw Beyonce, America and The Scorpions perform live, read stuff, stepped up my runs to 10km, the usual..

The grand old Duke

The grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.

And when they were up, they were up;
And when they were down, they were down.
But when they were only halfway up,
They were neither up nor down!

- anonymous (?) nursery rhyme

On my overgoing

Four stages in youth hath yet I known:
Of vagrant spontaneity bereft of thought
When seconds were lived and days were thrown
And delight, my very purpose begot!

Unto borrowed words that I called my own
I concluded one's whole purpose was naught!
Through inconsistent justification had nihilism grown
For without experience, one is mistaught.

Alas, my years unaccounted! Did I bemoan
Whereat purpose my existence sought
Each man is condemned to choose alone
And by self must one's path be wrought.

Verily time hath told me, their lives hath shown
It is not in the find of what one has sought
But in a becoming - to have yearned! To have grown!
And then share the ken thy learning hath brought!

I lost my 3230!!!! :((

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

- Robert Frost (Reluctance)

What then?

His chosen comrades thought at school
He must grow a famous man;
He thought the same and lived by rule,
All his twenties crammed with toil;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

Everything he wrote was read,
After certain years he won
Sufficient money for his need,
Friends that have been friends indeed;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

All his happier dreams came true -
A small old house, wife, daughter, son,
Grounds where plum and cabbage grew,
Poets and Wits about him drew;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

'The work is done,' grown old he thought,
'According to my boyish plan;
Let the fools rage, I swerved in naught,
Something to perfection brought';
But louder sang that ghost, 'What then?'

- W. B. Yeats

---

Books read recently: The Idiot, The Wind In The Willows, Rain in the mountains: Notes from the Himalayas, Ruskin Bond's Book of Verse, Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person, The Book of Questions, The Agony & The Ecstasy (but this is still underway - Lorenzo just breathed his last)

Classical Guitar: Finished Carcassi studies in thirds, sixths and octaves and upto study piece 40.

After all, there is no excuse not to.

the monsoon breeze through my bedroom window

The waft is continuous, smooth and gentle, making me more aware of myself, from the soles of my feet, to my knees, the back of my palm, to the wetness in my hair. Yet the same thoughts set sail. I should have started this Trinity music thing fifteen years ago. Should have read more and known better - all stacks are growing. The movies still lying unwatched, only dusted once a month.

To love, for love

To love for love
and not through pity,
judicious compromise
or righteous morality.

To work for purpose,
meaning and significance
and bequeath a mark
of standing difference.

And to fold into sleep
thanking the day
for bright and beautiful memories
in a pretty bouquet!

in the theatre of the absurd

The squirrel climbed up and the sun smiled down. "What if everything was causal and we knew all the variables of one big deterministic system?" He stopped and nibbled.

"But thats for schools and their science books. Guarantees do not exist in the grown world. My striving only increases my chances of being higher and my time being more accountable - everything in the universe is probabilistic. My mind is part of this universe. So my mind is probabilistic: I can only attempt at increasing my chances of knowing without being sure of knowing. The billions of millions of planets show it in a way. If there was one planet with one Sun, a moon and its company of stars it could be attributed to the grace of a god. If there were not so many species of plants and animals mutated over thousands of years from one cell (and to imagine the freak event to have caused this single cell in itself) - emptiness was placed but so much has evolved! The odds of us not being here were so fantastically high, and yet, they have been overcome only because there exist so many galaxies, species, people and Time!!"

He scratched his ear. "So maybe I should rest: good things may happen from toil but truly wondrous things happen only by chance. Aha, yet one must not sacrifice skill waiting for that magical tingle as one could be left with neither." And so he got to climbing again, while the sun, why, it laughed!


There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.

- Leonard Cohen.

slow train coming (with messieurs ipod & sartre)

'There are stars in the southern sky, southward as you go..' Would've been interesting to work it out with Shamik (was again blown by the harmony in Uncle John's Band). Said he's got a classical guitar and I have to find the teacher - messaged Ashley and he hasn't responded. But he was always the happy-go-lucky Rock and Roll fellow. Hope all is well. 'There is a taste of time sweetened honey, down the Seven Bridges road.' Should call him up. And poor Sri, cut him short twice in a row, and we both know how often we do call back. Hope he's well too.

'..got me a line. Nothing I do is gonna make the difference so I'm taking the time.' Arrangements are just as imporant - could never make it sound decent on guitar alone. Maybe with a church organ, the chords filling up every possible space and adding simple ornaments plucked on guitar or piano. 'It's called a Piano Forte because piano means soft and forte means loud. You didn't know?!' But I haven't been practising much and when I am there is no clear direction or purpose. Did play in Dahanu for Rani and Sanjay. Hope she gets back to her music. But Dahanu was good. 'I know nothing about fishing. But just watch me go..' Thought I wouldn't know anyone and get really uncomfortable - it's been more than 20 years since Saint Mary's High School - but it was refreshingly easy. We exchanged numbers. I sent two sms'es and got one reply (which is good, else one can run out of things to say).

Work will always happen but it's important to do something that gives meaning to time. Best to do it early in the morning - it's downhill from there. 'I don't see it as a question of pointlessness; sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad.' Well, Nikhil should be back in Pune. Hope it works out. (Everyone should be well - peace be unto all!) The 3am Pune-Mumbai trips may return. I'll show him the Bach on Abbey Road/Bach meets The Beatles cd. So which is your favourite group? Who's your best vocalist?? We need to have handy answers to these questions na. The Beatles. Van Morrison. But then we forget.

Finally met last tuesday.. she looked unhappy (so very sad) but there was nothing I could say (so very sad). Two years back in time - the dinner and talk, the walk and drop. 'Tuesday's gone with the wind..' arrangements and interpretations, Metallica and Skynyrd both have happy versions but Lynyrd's a more blissful & peaceful happiness, like a warm and golden sunset, whereas Hetfield and co primarily ensure a good time fun - the blues harp vs a bright piano maybe.. (but there was nothing I could've done!!)

"It isn't a question of numbers," said Mathieu. "Humanity replenishes itself, none are missed and none awaited. Humanity will continue on its futile journey, the usual people will ask themselves the usual questions, and wreck their lives in the usual way."

no rain

(also no run)

All you can play
     and all you have read
all you can say
     to the voices in your head,
All you create
     the mistakes you have made
smiles you desecrate
     everything to fade..

Waters happened.
And he was very good.

From The Morning

A day once dawned, and it was beautiful
A day once dawned from the ground
Then the night she fell
And the air was beautiful
The night she fell all around.

So look see the days
The endless coloured ways
And go play the game that you learnt
From the morning.

And now we rise
And we are everywhere
And now we rise from the ground
And see she flies
And she is everywhere
See she flies all around

So look see the sights
The endless summer nights
And go play the game that you learnt
From the morning.

- Nick Drake

I ran, it rained, and all things are bright and beautiful again!

because life is long

"Man is condemned to be free." -Sartre

This freedom is not the ability to physically do whatever one wants. It is the ability to mentally interpret one's own life for oneself; to define oneself and create one's own values. Even the slave can interpret his or her life in different ways, and in this sense even the slave is free. There is no absolute truth, golden path or universal guide. And one holds complete responsibility for oneself.

(Sophie finished last morning. But the Osho has finally provided The Reprieve and Iron in the Soul.)

Cogito, ergo sum ?

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

- Shakespeare (Macbeth)

(still midway through Sophie's World; post Women in Love, Woolf's To The Lighthouse and a compilation of Checkhov's works)

Zombie!

21.097km again
the sweet, slow and steady slumber..

Hello Sri!!
(no Sir, the marks on me fingertips are from playing guitar)

29th Jan - weened off anxiety pills
31st Jan - expected end of my cough prescription
1st Feb - should finally get new glasses
2nd Feb - Alan Parsons!
3rd Feb - Walter Trout!!
4th Feb - Buddy Guy!!!

memoirs

"One thing is for certain, a horrific chapter in Iraqi history has been closed." - Dubya Bush

"Most issues arise because one incessantly expects others to be like one's self. One must recognize individuality, accept it, and finally expect it!" - Swami Something

"Think I'm just tired of living."
"But you may still have 30 more years to go."
"I know. And it worries me." - with the Other

"The course only doesn't admit those suffering from clinical depression."
"But how would one know.. like, beforehand?"
"Well, you just have to be true to yourself." - from a colleague

"The more I think about it, I realize all this religion is just made up." - Ashley

"I genuinely want to be a Believer. And I truly admire those that are. Like Mouse.."
"It's because you don't have faith in other people." - with a colleague

"Why wouldn't I want to work?! I love my job!!!" - Daddo