slow train coming (with messieurs ipod & sartre)

'There are stars in the southern sky, southward as you go..' Would've been interesting to work it out with Shamik (was again blown by the harmony in Uncle John's Band). Said he's got a classical guitar and I have to find the teacher - messaged Ashley and he hasn't responded. But he was always the happy-go-lucky Rock and Roll fellow. Hope all is well. 'There is a taste of time sweetened honey, down the Seven Bridges road.' Should call him up. And poor Sri, cut him short twice in a row, and we both know how often we do call back. Hope he's well too.

'..got me a line. Nothing I do is gonna make the difference so I'm taking the time.' Arrangements are just as imporant - could never make it sound decent on guitar alone. Maybe with a church organ, the chords filling up every possible space and adding simple ornaments plucked on guitar or piano. 'It's called a Piano Forte because piano means soft and forte means loud. You didn't know?!' But I haven't been practising much and when I am there is no clear direction or purpose. Did play in Dahanu for Rani and Sanjay. Hope she gets back to her music. But Dahanu was good. 'I know nothing about fishing. But just watch me go..' Thought I wouldn't know anyone and get really uncomfortable - it's been more than 20 years since Saint Mary's High School - but it was refreshingly easy. We exchanged numbers. I sent two sms'es and got one reply (which is good, else one can run out of things to say).

Work will always happen but it's important to do something that gives meaning to time. Best to do it early in the morning - it's downhill from there. 'I don't see it as a question of pointlessness; sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad.' Well, Nikhil should be back in Pune. Hope it works out. (Everyone should be well - peace be unto all!) The 3am Pune-Mumbai trips may return. I'll show him the Bach on Abbey Road/Bach meets The Beatles cd. So which is your favourite group? Who's your best vocalist?? We need to have handy answers to these questions na. The Beatles. Van Morrison. But then we forget.

Finally met last tuesday.. she looked unhappy (so very sad) but there was nothing I could say (so very sad). Two years back in time - the dinner and talk, the walk and drop. 'Tuesday's gone with the wind..' arrangements and interpretations, Metallica and Skynyrd both have happy versions but Lynyrd's a more blissful & peaceful happiness, like a warm and golden sunset, whereas Hetfield and co primarily ensure a good time fun - the blues harp vs a bright piano maybe.. (but there was nothing I could've done!!)

"It isn't a question of numbers," said Mathieu. "Humanity replenishes itself, none are missed and none awaited. Humanity will continue on its futile journey, the usual people will ask themselves the usual questions, and wreck their lives in the usual way."

no rain

(also no run)

All you can play
     and all you have read
all you can say
     to the voices in your head,
All you create
     the mistakes you have made
smiles you desecrate
     everything to fade..

Waters happened.
And he was very good.

From The Morning

A day once dawned, and it was beautiful
A day once dawned from the ground
Then the night she fell
And the air was beautiful
The night she fell all around.

So look see the days
The endless coloured ways
And go play the game that you learnt
From the morning.

And now we rise
And we are everywhere
And now we rise from the ground
And see she flies
And she is everywhere
See she flies all around

So look see the sights
The endless summer nights
And go play the game that you learnt
From the morning.

- Nick Drake

I ran, it rained, and all things are bright and beautiful again!

because life is long

"Man is condemned to be free." -Sartre

This freedom is not the ability to physically do whatever one wants. It is the ability to mentally interpret one's own life for oneself; to define oneself and create one's own values. Even the slave can interpret his or her life in different ways, and in this sense even the slave is free. There is no absolute truth, golden path or universal guide. And one holds complete responsibility for oneself.

(Sophie finished last morning. But the Osho has finally provided The Reprieve and Iron in the Soul.)

Cogito, ergo sum ?

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

- Shakespeare (Macbeth)

(still midway through Sophie's World; post Women in Love, Woolf's To The Lighthouse and a compilation of Checkhov's works)

Zombie!

21.097km again
the sweet, slow and steady slumber..

Hello Sri!!
(no Sir, the marks on me fingertips are from playing guitar)

29th Jan - weened off anxiety pills
31st Jan - expected end of my cough prescription
1st Feb - should finally get new glasses
2nd Feb - Alan Parsons!
3rd Feb - Walter Trout!!
4th Feb - Buddy Guy!!!

memoirs

"One thing is for certain, a horrific chapter in Iraqi history has been closed." - Dubya Bush

"Most issues arise because one incessantly expects others to be like one's self. One must recognize individuality, accept it, and finally expect it!" - Swami Something

"Think I'm just tired of living."
"But you may still have 30 more years to go."
"I know. And it worries me." - with the Other

"The course only doesn't admit those suffering from clinical depression."
"But how would one know.. like, beforehand?"
"Well, you just have to be true to yourself." - from a colleague

"The more I think about it, I realize all this religion is just made up." - Ashley

"I genuinely want to be a Believer. And I truly admire those that are. Like Mouse.."
"It's because you don't have faith in other people." - with a colleague

"Why wouldn't I want to work?! I love my job!!!" - Daddo

Thirty

You ask on the years gone by,
and regrets that must have add.
Whether three decades have wearied me dry,
on the dreams I must have had.

As if birthdays were moments of reflection
for all one's work undone!
Never have I dwelt on past satisfaction -
I weary only for the times to come!!

Our Haiku - II

E9 days,
Our ways,
No sunrays,
Curtains drawn, always
- the other bojangles

Our Haiku - I

These days are so tight,
Have reached mechanical heights
Aint complaining my friend
Its just that all this is so different (from the lives we used to live)
- the other bojangles

To Live

Life is brief.
Fall in love, maidens,
before the crimson bloom fades from your lips,
before the tides of passion cool within you,
for those of you who know no tomorrow.

Life is brief.
Fall in love, maidens,
before your raven tresses begin to fade,
before the flames in your hearts flicker and die,
for those to whom today will never return.


(from Akira Kurosawa's Ikiru)

pg34 material

but may be I'll post when fed up of being me.

(text/plain)

it's getting bad again
perhaps we've outlived ourselves

" To lay me down
In silence easy
To be born again
In another world.. " - Van Morrison, Astral Weeks

if

Everyone's been working a lot - saturdays, sundays, independence days - wondering whether they get the satisfaction.. or may be it comes only when something is finished.. or when it's moving towards some line.. Osho says the pay alleviates the pointless - may be things would be brighter if there was a need. May be thats why people go about creating them.

cancelled tomorrow's class

Got the Most Stable Employee award today (a Shopper's Stop gift voucher) for doing the same thing for over a year. Dunno if it's a good or bad thing.. but the Mouse should be pleased.