satday at work

Treat everything as an adventure, I overheard them say.
But it gets harder when you know they were right and you were wrong.

" So leave the ways that are making you be
what you really dont want to be.
Leave the ways that are making you love
what you really dont want to love." - Nick Drake

so that I remember

3rd june - solicited by gay fellow (already forgot his name). But it'll take more than one to get me cut my hair.

3rd july - got pushed & fell off the local train. Experienced Bombay's famous apathy and also the comfort of kneecaps!

11th july - another sad day for the city (ride with a totally deaf yet very talkative rickshaw driver).

so the financial papers win over page3!

to reality

Pune was surreal - if Time ever stood there, he'd be motionless. Utpal filing FIRs for stolen mobile phones. Nikhil's guitar and talk. Aniket on trekking. Mr Brownstone..

The Myth of Sisyphus

but, if they brought forth
one big simmering pot
to melt, blend or dissolve everything that we had got,
reforged all you were, and all I was not
would it be easier on us all?

The masses have their religion, so I chose my opium. But I was wrong - one must choose consciousness.

'The rock is still rolling.' - Albert Camus

Happy Birthday Shamik!

the dirt settles, the waters get clear
inebriety takes on new meanings, year after year
holding on to those who hold you dear
incapable of love, of laughter, mirth or tear.

the man from yesterday -

These words for you
I spoke to myself
After the phone call
Saying ‘couldn’t resist’

I want you by my side
Hold you through the night
So many lullabies to sing
To make you sleep like a queen

So many kisses to greet
The morning opening of your lips
Bathe you in them, awake
Make love to you at the daybreak

Then I’ll make some coffee
Those lashes will raise the lids
Drugged with the nights sleep
Your eyes will begin to see me

You will smile at the world
Brightening up my day
We’ll light up a ciggi together
And start talking in our smokey way.

- the other bojangles

2nd poem...

She's gone,
& now I stoop down,
& collect pieces of my broken conscience.
She's gone,
& now I smile,
& try to rekindle my void existence.

She's gone,
& now I stab
into dreams reeking of my past-tense.
She's gone,
& now I cower
knowing that I've lost my innocence.

She's gone,
& now I crawl,
brought down by my decadence.
She's gone,
& now I live
aware of my shattered resilience.

- Shamik

cold turkey - day two

Morning panic: Thought I'd left the last-guy office-keys at home, but I'd passed them on to Thakkar when I'd caught the rick.

office is colder. outside it's hot. the women's loo have a mirror. the gent's loo have not.

Edited my cell's phone-book last night, now all work colleagues have an 'aroo' to end their name.

and if that don't do, I'll try something new

Am feeling really bad about waking up after a two day weekend.. both guitars watching me, unplayed. Slumbered through Being Cyrus and a play called Love Letters. Very nice, the play..

Shattered a pretty glass candle-holder thing this morning. Was talking with Mousey while putting laptop in its case and the top flap hit.. am horrible.

So to the newest change! (atleast until the King's next visit)

A hard rain's a-gonna fall

The clouds had all gone, but I caught a taxi and bought them all back.

We launched today - lots of buzz everywhere; the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Seattle PI,..

`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

(from Shelley's Ozymandias)

the King has left the building..

"Think we all got it under control.. won't get strung out. This rarely works. I'm living proof. But in the end, you've just gotta see the junk as another 9-5 gig, the hours are just a bit more inclined to shadows." - Jim Carroll (in The Basketball diaries)

Watched V for Vendetta.. orible orrrible orrrribbble!!
(Bought tickets to Being Cyrus for dad while Mom and Mousey were smsing from Dubai)

Terrified. Mortified. Petrified. Stupefied.

system reboot strongly advised
(also The King should be in town and Mom-sis are leaving for a Dubai wedding this saturday)

Will go to class tomorrow, even though I've been mainly playing electric since watching Johnny Cash (and Nikhil was right, the black Fender seems like an small easy toy after working on my classical). Bought a neat guitar stand too - Mr. Fender sits straight up by my bed, all night long.

Got accosted by a pimp on Sunday.
My name's Ramu. You don't want? Why?!!! You don't want a look?? Why??!!! Take phone number atleast - you don't have to call. No???? Whyyyyy... Ramu. Ramu. Remember, and ask for me.

here we go again

friday night, last local.
5:30am, login from home.
9am, dinner-cum-breakfast.
11am, office office.

better late

I brought in Navroz sweets to office today (as I'd then got the jacket for Shome). One assorted box for each of our three rooms - badam barfee, chocolate barfee, kaju katli and mawaa. We really aren't a bad sort, we're just lazy.. and that is all.

Cancelled my friday class for the second time yet. I could've worked hard and made the cut, but I've started on 'The Great Gatsby', and it's something I'd been wanting to read since a long time.

"It made no difference to me. Dishonesty in a woman is a thing you never blame too deeply - I was casually sorry, and then I forgot." - F. Scott Fitzgerald